Restart, refresh, renew

So it's been over a month since I've even bothered to post in here. And in that month, I've completely let myself go. I'm not sure when I completely stopped caring - some time before finals and bar review, but basically whatever progress I made this year was lost. I guess I'm still 3 lbs down since January 1st but it's nothing to be proud of. I can't say I regret it - sometimes there are more important things in life than looks and weight and all that jazz. But now I'm disgusted again and I vow to try.

I've realized that the only way I will ever succeed in reaching any kind of goal weight is to diet. Truly diet. Which is terrible for me because the only reason I want to get skinny is so that I can eat whatever I want again. But I'm going to try. I've had enough taco bell, mcdonalds, home run inn nights over the last few months, so it's time to get back at it. I'm using myfitnesspal to track my foods. If anyone has an account and wants to be my friend, go ahead and friend me! I think my screenname is hefferlicious. Not sure how the whole friends things works, and I didn't want anyone stalking my food diary before, but I figure now anything will help.

I realize that I HATE that feeling of having a tire around my body - a tire full of fat. My goal really is to lose that -to be comfortable in my own skin, with my own body, and not just feel fat and awkward.

In other news, I made a training schedule for the Hot Chocolate 15k in November. I added 2 days a week of cross-training where I'll do a p90x or insanity video because I realized that all I did in the past few months was run, and I don't think that was really all that helpful either.

I love to hear positive feedback but I wish there would have been more people to attack me for disappearing, for giving up. I started this blog to hold myself accountable, so if I stop posting - hold me accountable!

Sorry for the random ramblings. I am going to start over. I have nothing to hold me back now - plenty of free time and no valid excuses. I already know I can work out enough to be sufficient, but I need to focus on eating better. 1.5 days so far and I'm still doing well.. We'll see how it goes.